i know, i have to apologise to my friends, especially min, for the crappy blog posts that i wrote recently. not that i haven't had many in the past few weeks, just that i've been too preoccupied with work work and work that i wasn't in a mood to write all the good stuffs down. there was the futsal event, which all my friends have mentioned in their blogs, and then me, syak, emi, deline and zah finally made it to see My Name Is Khan. Capsquare was gorgeous, i love it. and SRK is the best, so is Karan Johar. i hope that film made it big. i wouldn't be surprised if they beat Slumdog Millionaire or some other Hollywood movies. Bollywood has a reputation for that.
anyway, like i was mentioning earlier, my studies have put me in such a distressful state lately. and i didn't particularly like to write down when i'm stressed out. the reason being that, people read my blog, especially my friends, and i wouldn't do them justice to rant about my woes in here. i want to write happy girly stuffs hehehee =) and not be a cry baby unless i can't help it. but either way, i want to share the reality that i'm facing right now.
march is a busy month, as told by my ex-class rep and now-MPP of my faculty.there's a lot of work, as i've mentioned. but that's not why i'm stressed out exactly. i'm stressed out by how from time to time, the substances get harder and harder.especially criminal law. you know, secretly, i used to want to be a Public Prosecutor when i practice, get into action and dramas in court of representing the state to prosecute murderers, rapists, and high-end cases. seeing my name on the paper, you know, all those stuffs. but as i get along, i don't know whether i want it that much anymore. partly maybe because there's a lot more options that i know are available for me out there and that the legal fraternity would never be short of hands.
not, the thing is, the substance of criminal law is freaking hard for me. i've gone pass the fact that they aren't certain answers in law and that you can fight it both ways, lies or stretching the truth or bla bla bla...but in criminal law..ughhh..
okay, for basics, if you want to prosecute someone for, say, murder, you must prove two elements first. that is the actus reus (criminal act that he has committed) and mens rea (guilty state of mind of the accused). criminal act is fairly easy to establish. i mean, if he kills with a knife, then that's the actus reus. but for mens rea, how would you know that he has the intention to kill? for starters, in law, it is not enough that the accused has a motive. we can hardly know it from looking at his acts, because it may not reflect what's inside. as Public Prosecutor, it is your duty and burden to really show in court that the accused has the guilty mind, or intention to do the murder, and you can't prosecute unless you have really 100% sure of that, all facts considered and has convinced the judge that the accused is really, completely 100% guilty.unless the mind of the accused can beyond reasonable doubt be establish, no matter how badly we know from the facts that it was the accused who did the murder, we can't prosecute him for it thus he can not be hang to death.
i've attended lectures and tutorials fairly enough to know that this is the hardest part. how do you know what a person is thinking, except from God? yes, we can infer from the case in hand, but it's hard to just by looking at the facts, we point out their intentions. even, my lecturer, the ex- public prosecutor says that. and how do can we answer a tutorial question if we don't know what to answer for it, let alone face the real thing in court? i've been deeply depressed by this fact that it nearly led me to give up on criminal law.
then, when the tutorial ended, we went to Thomas Philip, a litigation firm only, tp help my friend interview the lawyers for our law magazine. somehow the interview led more towards sharing the experiences and backgrounds of the lawyers. one of the female lawyer told me this; that she received her degree from UK, and that she dreamt to venture the criminal law field when she return home. all the same stories..but she was depleted at first because her dad, who was a veteran in law by then, told her that in Malaysia, the people's mentality are not that open yet towards female lawyers defending them for their crime. and truth be told, it is hard for a female lawyer to continue in this extreme field once they've settled down for a family because there's always the issue of safety for criminal lawyers and you don't want to put your family in the risk as well. hence, she turned to commercial law.i know that this is not an all-consensual statement, and that there are still women in the field that survive it, but there's still the truth in it. whether or not i'm up for the take is not for me to answer yet.
either way, for the short run, i know i need to buck up and survive criminal law. i won't let one subject let my passion down for law. i've did it all by now, so i know that backing off isn't an option. i'll keep going, with God's blessing, insyallah..
i want to thank my friends, especially my long-distanced ones in France and India who were so sweet as to give me encouraging words of hope when i'm down these past few days. i owe them a lot, they were so lovely. thanks a lot Bery, Bella. love u guys to bits!
saya budak law UM yang susah mati,
lylasyahirah
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