what goes around will TUMBLE around

not a day passed by that i haven't wonder
what happened to us what happened when we were together
coz everytime we look at each other
i know, u know
this is not what perfection should be

and then i ask myself and i ask you
should we leave or should we continue
but u said its best not to care
what's been broken can go and fix itself

i wonder, i wonder
why should i even listen
your words are not worth to ponder
maybe someday,somewhere in the distance
when you left, and i can finally measure

i'm good without you
i can live my own life
that no matter how things used to be with you
now its nearing perfection, and i survive

i'm good, i'm alive, i'm thrilled to prove
when you walk away i got nothing to loose
i'm surprise, i don't know how i manage
when you turn away all the memories faded

now i realise, when i'm writing this
it doesn't matter today cause you never exist
and if you decide to be happy
i'll just let u be
in all my past agony and my misery
i've managed to smile and MARK THIS

what goes around will retaliate
what goes around never procastinate
what goes around is just a matter of one sound
that if it doesn't come slowly
you'll be sure it'll TUMBLE back around!



sweeet retreat:)

WHO SAYS U CAN'T HATE YOUR BOYFRIEND?AFTER NEARLY A YEAR OF RELATIONSHIP, I CAN SAY MY HEART IS WEARING OUT.AT LEAST I AM BEING HONEST.AND HOLDS STRONG REASONS AS TO WHY I SHOULD HATE HIM.AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO SPILL THE BEANS HERE

REASONS WHY I HATE HIM

1)whenever i would fell tensed up with work and studies and wanted to dump it all on him, he would go all "sabar sayang, saya dengar k?" and went on laughing. irritatingly, those words and laughter soothes me

2)whenever i fell asleep and he had to wake me up,i would do so very grumpily and grudgingly.after realising that for the first time,strangely, he became more willing to wake me up, eventhough he often fall victim to my acts

3)whenever he acts childishly and later complaints loudly of his injuries when he knew well that i have warned him earlier, he said he would rather have suffered and hear me nagged just so he knows he gets my attention

4)whenever i had to meet him without any make up on or without having showered and he would say,"macam mane pon saya sayang kamu jugak la by.." instead of turning the other cheek

5)whenever i have had to make due preparation in order to apologise for my wrongdoings and he would crush all hopes by getting there first

6)whenever he neglected to brush his hair and messed them up because he knows i would unconciously run them through neatly with my fingers

7)whenever i had my meals unfinished, he would finish them up for me instead of insisting me to eat it all up as he should have

8)whenever he teases the way i can't do math calculation properly and gets a piece from me before both of us end up laughing

9)whenever, instead of fighting me back whenever we had a quarrel, he would surrender and let me win

10)whenever, if the quarrel gets nasty, instead of really fighting me back, he would cry

11)whenever if i said i was alone and missing him, instead of saying sweet words to me, he would come all the way by bus just to be by my side

12)whenever he shows his affection eventhough we're surrounded by my friends or his friendS-like he knows secretively that i like to be treated that way

YOU SEE PEOPLE? HOW CAN I NOT HATE THIS GUY ALL THIS WHILE? BUT THE MOST VITAL,NOT-TO-BE-FORGOTTEN REASON AS TO WHY I HATE HIM SO MUCH IS THAT HE MAKES ME UNREASONABLY AND UNDENIABLY IN LOVE WITH HIM EVERYDAY.. :)

....as a LAW student, thou SHALT...

1) try from the start to find a more catchy answer than "because i want to learn the law" when asked on why you want to take up the course. so far, "because it'll be easier for me to BREAK the law" has been the favourite.

2) attend every class, and when you do, try to stay awake. if u must, droll for just 5 minutes.it wouldn't do you good to miss out on important case pointed out ONCE from the lecturer and its similar important details.you could save up an hour or two by not searching for the case and read it awhole in the library later if you just LISTEN.and make notes as well.

3) go to your tutorial classes as well, but go there with full PREPARATION.you don't want to look stupid in the class by not joining in the discussions when answering the problematic questions.if you are not well prepared, make sure you are really SMART enough to make up any genius answers to your question.don't make a fool of yourself by saying the defendant is not guilty when clearly he is-just to get the attention of your lecturer.

4) referring to statement 2 and statement 3, represse and diminish any thoughts of NOT going to classes and tutorials-before its too late to start.lecturers would notice if you miss out classes-at least in UM they do.if a lecturer ask your friend to tell you to come to the next class, that is a BAD sign.

5) when presented with a case, read it as soon as possible, especially if the lecturer points it out many times in class.don't wait until the weekend to read it unless you want your head to explode.and don't wait until citation of Fibrosa Spolka Akejna v Fairban Lawson Combe Barbour Ltd gets the best of you.

6) try discussing with your friends only AFTER everyone has read the topic, or the case.it wouldn't help for you to debate through the discussions of what exactly the point of the case or the topic should be-not when everyone is equally good at speaking and when the subject area itself is not definite.

7) decide on what you want to be fast,since the legal career is expanding.and work on building relationships with those influential people.at least grasp the opportunity when every once a while, impontant people from the legal freternity will come down.politicise from the start.

8) try to use your rights whenever POSSIBLE only and don't abuse it. and also, don't go around saying 'i'm a law student' whenever you want to point something is wrong. it gives a wrong impression to others.

9) find a place where you can escape for good for at least 3 days when reading and memorising facts and cases are getting too much on you.and don't have second thoughts of changing your course t.always remember that hard work pays off.

M Y S E L F

Myself is a songbird tune oftenly repressed

Myself is a heated generator often put to the test

Myself is a silent soul full of remorse

Myself is a bubbly entrance opened, now closed

Myself is a ticking clock, never the alarm

Myself is a peacemaker who now does know harm

Myself is a spinning wheel on a lonely road

Myself is a thousand words tied up my throat

Myself is a black cruise sinking in the sea

Myself is an unfair case presented without a plea

Myself is a person who used to be in the center

Myself is a person still in the center, now with a missing laughter

Myself is a theatre, my heart the entertainer

Myself is now a backstage, others the performer

Myself is a body looking at a friend who just said "pink"

Myself is smiling now but don't know what it means

Myself is quiet, my friends are hurting

Myself is ashamed, i need the understanding

Myself is changing, i don't know why

Myself just follows until the reasons came by..




~for you to know that not all hopes are lost is for me to be satisfied with~

over and done

i should have noticed-it was too good to be true. i was laughing all day long, spending times i really don't have with my bestfriend. until it hit-and it hit hard. THE TEARS. darn.and when i thought she had finished off already.



lai..kenapa aku still rasa macam nie.aku taknak..aku xbley berhenti fikir.aku taw aku kne stop, tp aku x cukup kuat.susahnya.macam mane nie..



TEARS.TEARS.MOOOOORE TEARS.



she knew it too well, the reason why she came into my aid was because im the person whom she can spill those waters unshamelessly, whom she can go on and on dragging away with all the taradiddle storries that never seem to end and whom she knows will bite her tongue and end up comforting her for whatever sanity left inside her.she knew she can count on me to be really open with her,but wouldn't dare to hurt her feelings all the same.so in the end,she got what she wanted to hear and i had to be prepare for the next flood to come in.well, maybe she counted her eggs way too early before they even drop out of them chickens' poo poo.



i would bet on my soul anything i said next would be those which she expects to hear.



nanges la if ko rase itu melegakan.kdang2 membantu jugak kalo ko nanges and bercerita.aku hope pasni ko akan okay balik..sabar ey..



instead, this came out



will u stop it already??i remember u crying far more often than u ever did laughing-and really,IT'S NOT WORTH IT.can't u see that it's giving u no good?if u don't stop now, u will never ever going to stop! either u stop now or i'll do it for you.



the next thing i know was i grabbing off her phone. CLICK.phonebook opens.CLICK CLICK CLICK. i found the "ource"of her tears.CLICK. i deleted it right there and then.next stop, messaging box. CLICK. inbox opens. CLICCCCCCCCCCKKKSSSSS.i deleted all the "source's" messages.hahaaa how about that??



she look at me, amazed.she didn't cry though.i asked,did it feel anything bad?she said, strangely..NO.



next day, i whizzed her off to a hairdressing saloon.1st reason(and really is my major concern), her hair was getting hideous by the day and it failed me to understand how much cream she had to stick on those strands.2nd reason, i wanted her to chop and crop off hairs which grows on as she was with the said "source" and wear on a new, dazzling crown on her head, pulling off all those vibe.it was worth the 3 hours though.my friend is now a complete new person.she had on this kind of proud smile on her face right after we left the saloon, and i can't stop realizing that that same smile had reached her eyes and oppps-no tears this time.

she texted me this before she returned to her sanctuary island, promising(and i hope she keeps it) to no longer shed any unworthy tears.

lai,thankyou..syg ko sgt.aku akan ingat hari nie smpai bile2.n one day,if i've a bf, i'll say that u r the reason he find me, u hve change me, u hv make me feel sumthng i've never dare to feel it b4, n u bring out my strengh. doakan aku kuat..may God bless u dear.

to my friend, a message from the heart(now that u are light-headed enough to listen), it takes a lot to make a change, but u have to start ONE STEP AT A TIME.a new hairdo and a reborn phone wll keep u confident as long as the heart and the brain do the same.whatever it is, thou shant stop trying and trying. :)

p/s: bawak aku naek kete baru ko nanti ye!