how blue you do?

"Lalu 365 Hari berlalu, cinta itu tak pergi, hilang atau berganti"

It was my birthday not two days ago. I never paid any extra attention to my birthdays anymore, the only bearing that the date 17/7 has on my year is simply that, I turned a year older. But that doesn't mean that to me, it is any less significant. I woke up two days ago, feeling grateful as ever to God for the opportunity to live and amend my living in the coming years. I woke up, not expecting presents, but only warm wishes from friends and family whom until this day, I have not forgotten to wish the same thing back.

To risk speaking in vain, I must say, I am quite fortunate. I don't have resolutions to make on my birthday, hence less expectation on myself. I keep myself to simple goals everyday- to be understanding, to be loving, to be patient. I set myself out to be practical in every possible way, most importantly, in love and friendship. I understand now that as one grows older, one must make choices. To hold it in or to let it out. To forgive and forget or to still hold grudges. To change or to stay the same. To live in the present awaiting the future or to hold the present 'hostage' for any redemption from the past. All is the same. One CHOOSES.

Thank you God, for above everything else, you keep my heart firm and grounded.

I received a pleasant surprise from a friend of mine in Indonesia, who happens to be a writer. I cannot remember exactly how we got to know each other- only I know she did the first move. It was a facebook friendship that soon turned into late night BBM texting. I have a couple of Indonesian friends and vice versa, so we weren't speaking hens and ducks all the time. When I knew her, she just got out from a really bad break up. Tragic. The kind of relationship and break ups that you know if Karan Johar got a hold of her story, he can make millions. I kept trying to get her to tell me her story but I was either a very bad persuader or she just had her head straight on not telling. Well, it turns out to be neither. She was just waiting to tell her story. Not to me. But to the everyone. In a book.

Not everyone can pull an Adele. It takes more than guts to spill everything out of your chest for the whole community to see. I don't know how she does it, but she did. Needless to say, I was thrilled to find this in my mailbox today, like I said, two days after my birthday. I am glad that I was fated to know someone as wonderful as her. Someone who chooses like I choose.

I was strongly reminded at this moment of a phrase that Wardina Saffiyah used in "Ini Kisahku" and between these two paragraphs, I add as an afterthought;

"Bila kita bercadang atau berniat untuk lakukan perubahan, Tuhan akan hantar orang yang baik-baik, yang sesuai dengan perubahan yang kita nak buat,"

Oh did I mention her name? What rudeness, my apologies. Her name is Ratna Ayu Pratiwie, also known as Nana. And as far as her book goes, she went rogue. She didn't cower behind anonymous nicknames.

Let me share a bit of the excerpt of this book..

     Semua orang yang pernah jatuh cinta pasti pernah patah hati. Tapi berteman dengan rasa sakit itu setiap harinya dan masih bisa tertawa adalah satu anugerah dan sikap yang luar biasa. Dan hidup tidak melulu tentang pasangan dan pacaran. Buktinya sudah setahun ini aku masih betah dengan kesendirian selepas kepergiannya. Bahkan entah kenapa semua ini seolah-olah benar-benar aku nikmati karena apapun tentangnya yang belum bisa pergi di hatiku. Lalu 365 hari berlalu. Cinta itu tak pergi, hilang ataupun berganti. Masih disitu, di tempat dia berada sebelumnya. Dan kepada orang yang sama.

-Ratna Ayu, 365 Hari

I heard from her that this book, though it is no Twilight, makes its own significant success in Indonesia. It has its own book launching and signing session. My friend Nana made a considerable mark in her pocket as well as her healing heart. I was tempted to finish this as soon as possible but this is as good a read as the Anne Frank Diary. It's short, but you need to savour every page because it is part of history. This is her (Nana) history. I'm going to take a leaf out of Anne Frank's and put it into this book.

Makasii banyak buat hadiahnya ini pada ulangtahunku, Na. Aku beruntung punya teman kayak kamu. Semoga sukses selalu. 

Make good choices.